Trainer Handbook

STEP 6: “I” LANGUAGE

STEP 6: “I” Language instead of “You” Language

Note to the trainer: Present the difference between “You” language and “I” language as a tool of assertiveness that does not blame the other person and takes responsibility for the emotion.

Method: Practice and sentence-conversion exercise.

Materials: Whiteboard.

Implementation steps:

1. Theoretical basis: The trainer explains the logic of empathic language:

“Accusatory statements that we frequently use during conflict, such as ‘You never listen to me!’ or ‘You are so selfish!’ - “You” language - immediately make the other person defensive and break communication. Using “I” language instead enables the individual to take responsibility for their own emotions and thoughts without blaming another person.”

2. “From You to I” conversion game: Write accusatory sentences on the board and ask participants to convert them into “I” language:

o “You” language: “You always leave your room in such a mess; I have had enough!” o “I” language: “When the room is untidy, I feel very tired and I need us to cooperate in keeping it organised.”