STEP 3: Problem-Solving Skills

Note to the trainer: Help participants internalise the “Think-Speak-Listen” steps, which enable children to generate their own solutions, rather than becoming judges who solve problems on the child’s behalf.

Method: Small-group work.

Materials: Worksheets and “Create a Solution, Use It!” scenario cards.

Implementation steps:

1. The role of the parent/caregiver: The trainer presents the basic principle from the guide:

“When a child experiences a problem, instead of solving it on the child’s behalf or becoming a judge who decides who is right, we should ask which animal strategy the child is using and guide the child towards a solution. Our aim is to help children use the Fox or Owl strategies according to the situation, rather than becoming a Turtle or a Shark.”

2. “Think-Speak-Listen” chain activity: Give each group a problem scenario.

Participants structure intervention steps that help children first pause and think about an appropriate strategy during a crisis, then speak constructively with the other party and finally listen to the other party’s need.

Distribution of scenarios: Divide participants into groups of three or four. Give each group one of the following scenarios:

Scenario 1:Two children want to use the same computer. Both say, “I was here first”, and the argument grows.

Scenario 2:One child takes another child’s property without permission, and the other shouts angrily, “Thief!”

Scenario 3:During a group game, one child does not follow the rules and the others want to exclude the child from the game.

THINK (Pause and Evaluate): The caregiver does not immediately provide a solution for children who are fighting.

First invite both children to calm down and ask the following questions in sequence:

“What are you feeling right now? Say it in one word.” (Naming the emotion)

“What exactly happened? Tell me.” (Describing the event from the child’s own perspective)

“What did you want?” (Clarifying the need)

These questions move the child’s brain out of “reaction mode” and into “thinking mode”. At this stage the caregiver does not judge, but simply listens and guides.

SPEAK (Constructive Expression): Ask the child to explain the problem to the other person using the “I” language that has been learnt. If necessary, the caregiver can begin with the following pattern:

“Can you explain this using ‘I’ language? Instead of saying ‘You always...’, begin with ‘I felt... because...’.”

The caregiver does not interrupt while the child speaks. When the child has finished, ask which animal strategy was used:

“Which animal did you act like just now? A Shark, a Turtle or another animal?”

LISTEN (Understanding the Other Party): It is now the other child’s turn. Ask this child to use the same “I” language format and ask the first child simply to listen, without interrupting or objecting. When the process is complete, ask both children:

“What was the other person feeling? What did that person need?”

This question requires the child to take perspective - in other words, to empathise. The caregiver writes the needs of both parties on a board or paper and asks:

“Can both of your needs be met? Which solution would work for both of you? The Fox or the Owl?”

Large-group sharing: Each group briefly shares its scenario and the solution it found. The trainer deepens the discussion with the following question:

“Which is the most difficult link in this chain in real life: Think, Speak or Listen? Why?”