GUIDE FOR CAREGIVERS
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Social Skills
4. Social Skills and Conflict Resolution
What Are Social Skills and Communication?
Social skills are the ways in which a person who understands their own feelings and can empathise with others expresses these abilities in relationships. These skills support getting along with others, working together and resolving disagreements without turning them into fights.
A basic element is being a good listener: listening without interrupting, avoiding constantly turning the conversation back to oneself, and trying not to judge. This helps people understand one another’s feelings and communicate more effectively.
Conflict Resolution Strategies
Children and adults frequently experience conflict. The guide presents five strategies that can be taught to children using animal symbols:
Turtle Strategy (Withdrawal) — Stays silent to avoid an argument and may avoid defending legitimate rights in order to prevent tension.
Teddy Bear Strategy (Giving In) — Neglects personal needs in order to appear agreeable and prioritises the other person’s wishes so that no one is upset.
Shark Strategy (Forcing) — Focuses only on personal goals, uses pressure and tries to “win” without giving enough attention to the other person’s feelings.
Fox Strategy (Compromise) — Looks for mutual concessions so that each side gives up something and the parties meet in the middle, for example: “I’ll play for a while, then you play.”
Owl Strategy (Collaboration) — Looks at the root of the problem and seeks a constructive, fair solution that tries to meet everyone’s needs.
The Caregiver’s Role: Guiding Toward Solutions
When a child has a problem, instead of solving it for them or acting as a judge who decides who is right, ask which animal strategy they are using and guide them towards a more constructive solution. The aim is to help children use Fox or Owl strategies when appropriate rather than defaulting to Turtle or Shark responses.
Simple Home Games
“Create a Solution, Use It!”
How to do it: Choose an everyday problem, such as one sibling damaging another’s belongings or two children arguing over a toy. In role-play, ask the child first to respond like a Shark (forcing) and then like a Fox (compromising). Purpose: To compare the consequences of different strategies and experience how a more constructive solution can help both sides.
“Tearing Paper”
How to do it: Give each family member an A4 sheet of paper and ask everyone to close their eyes. Questions and opening the eyes are not allowed. Give instructions such as: “Fold the paper in half. Tear off the top-left corner. Fold it in half again. Tear off the bottom-left corner.” When everyone opens their eyes, the papers will be different. Purpose: To demonstrate how one-way listening, without questions, interaction and feedback, can lead to different interpretations and communication breakdowns.