STEP 2: Delayed Gratification and Compliance with Rules

Note to the trainer: Enable participants to experience directly how this Theraplay-based game helps impulsive children develop their internal braking mechanisms (self-control).

Method: Practical game.

Materials: Small balls of cotton wool.

Implementation steps:

1. Rules and explanation of the game: The trainer addresses the participants:

“We are now going to play the Cotton-Wool Blowing Game described in our guide. We will lie opposite one another on the floor or across a table. You will take turns blowing the cotton-wool ball placed between you, but only when I give the command ‘Blow’. Blowing before the command is not allowed. This simple activity teaches children, in an enjoyable way, to wait for an instruction and restrain their immediate impulses.”

2. Practice: The whole group experiences the game in pairs at tables. A brief discussion is held about the urge to act that arises in the body while waiting for the instruction.

Brief Post-Activity Evaluation

“Dear colleagues, did you notice what happened while playing the game? You were opposite one another, the cotton wool was in the middle, you filled your lungs with air and, just as you were about to blow, I said ‘Stop’ or delayed the instruction. You felt a momentary contraction and impatience in your body. That feeling is an impulse. The weakest muscle in the brains of impulsive children is the ‘waiting time between desire and action’. As soon as a child sees the cotton wool, they do not reason; the primitive brain immediately says, ‘Blow now and win’. When we activate the command mechanism, we make the child’s prefrontal cortex - the centre of logic and self-control - work. Every second that the child waits for the command to blow strengthens the ‘waiting and self-restraint muscle’ that they can use before acting during a crisis in life.”

“After playing this game with children, do not end it immediately. Sit beside the child and use the ‘Understanding and Labelling’ stages of the RULER Method to have the following short conversation:

‘Did you notice? You were just about to blow before I said “Blow”, but you stopped yourself. What did you feel inside at that moment? Impatience? Excitement? Being able to stop yourself then was a wonderful strength. During the day, when you are about to become angry with a friend and throw something, you can use that same powerful inner brake.’

This conversation will transform the physical experience in the game into an awareness of emotional control that the child can use during crises in daily life.”